Sitting here tryna drink so I would shed a tear, I’m so pissed. Jack in the box told me, he was connect disconnect his feelings so he won’t get hurt. What the fuck is that? A bunch of bullshit if you asked me. He is the one popping up in and out of my life. He has emotional hurt me! I’ve grown attached to him, even loved him, allowed him to pop up in and out and disrupted anything I had going on patiently waiting for him to tell me those words, “I love You” and “I wanna be with you.” I got the “I love you” followed by a disappearing act. I’m pissed more so at myself, because this isn’t the first time this has happened to me. There have been two others in my life, and but these two I have more history with and I actually fell in love with them and it seemed to end with that.
I’ve had list of unhealthy relationships. I swear listening it that Vivian Green song, Emotional Rollercoaster rings true in my dating life. I seem to only attract me that never want anything serious and the ones that do, I’m not attracted to or once was but was so emotionally unattached that I can see how they would even want me now.
I get caught up in someone who doesn’t just want me for sex, and consistently hits me up or spends time with all the while not wanting to further the relationship for many reasons. Let’s just say I choose the wrong people…and I know my problem but I don’t know what to do to fix it. It hurts because I know that I’m my own enemy.
I think I need a break to rethink things, so that can find out why I choose these type of men.
**Wrote this last night.**