Love VS Being In Love: Differences

You know me always got different things on my mind. So after digging around my mind this morning a question popped into my head:

Can you love someone and like someone else?

So I posted it on FB. These are some of the answers I got:

C.P said: I believe if you truly love someone you have no more room for anyone else.
C.W said: being in love doesn’t stop u from lusting over another.
C.P. said: But if you’re in Love you’re not going to lust over anyone but who you’re in love with. People use the word LOVE to loosly to love someone is to only want to be with that person…only lusting for that person….
I said: But you guys do realize I sad LOVE not IN LOVE???
C.P. said: What the difference between IN Love and Love??

This sparked up another status post: “Realize there’s a difference between loving someone and being IN love with someone. People need to understand the difference.”

M. I. said Explain, please?

Now I broke it down like this: You can LOVE mac n’ cheese, ya dog, cat or whatever. But being IN love is much deeper. You can care for (love) a person (i.e. sister, mother, cousin, daughter…etc)..and not be in love with them.

M.I. asked how do you distinguish the difference?

I simply stated you can feel the difference…or at least that’s my opinion. It’s hard to actually put it into words…but you heart can tell the difference.

But true to man form (sorry guys)…my home boy R.H. tried his best to put it into words and I liked the way he did it.

So this is what R.H. had to say: “@M.H.: there is a difference love is crying at someone’s funeral, in love is taking a BULLET for a mothafucka…wit love you would do the norm (normal) being in love u would go above and beyond, if u can’t go above n beyond for someone but treat them wit love….then u love them for what they are, in love means u love them for who they are….”

So I asked you bloggers and readers… Do you know there’s a difference between loving someone and being IN love with someone? If so, explain…or if not…asked questions…I may have answer or someone else may…

24 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Tynetta
    May 03, 2010 @ 19:06:39

    Honestly I believe there IS a difference between loving someone and being IN love with someone. Loving someone is caring for them, doing for them, protecting them, etc…but being IN love is when you see beyond flaws and imperfection. Being IN love isn’t exclusive to mates and spouses either. You can be in love with your children, you would die for them, you love them even though they maybe locked up for killing an innocent person…being in love is undeniably, unconditionally, unvoluntarily pure emotion for someone. In the greek language there are four types of love agape, eros, philia, and storge. Agape being the greatest of them all. Agape-unconditional love, eros-passionate, romantic, lustful love, philia-friendship, and storge-affectionate love…when you can show agape love to a person…you’re in love. But the question is who can truly exhibit or receive this type of love?



    • sunnydelyte21
      May 03, 2010 @ 23:19:56

      First off, I’d like to say thanks for stopping in and not only reading but commenting as well. That is a great question. I think anyone is capable of exhibiting that type of love….as far as someone receiving this type of love is someone who has capture this persons heart.

      I don’t want to go all Bible on you, but God showed this type of love and continues to deserving and people we may feel are undeserving. I would love for someone to feel that way for me, other than our Heavenly Father.

      Again, great question!!



  2. jetara
    May 03, 2010 @ 19:15:21

    I know that there is a difference. I agree with your friend that when you are IN LOVE you will do anything for them. You will go out your way to make sure they are happy and that their lives are good. But just loving someone is how I love a neighbor. Not too concerned all the time with them. I think this is a great discussion peice can’t wait to see the responses!! Good Job!!



  3. sunnydelyte21
    May 03, 2010 @ 23:23:09

    Thanks Jetara…I’m loving the comments already…can’t wait to see more!!!



  4. Don
    May 04, 2010 @ 13:55:12

    Yes. I believe it’s possible to love someone, be in love with someone and like someone. I have been there so my answer would be a firm Yes.

    Loving someone is just enjoying them for who they are the moments shared. Not really expecting anything in return, just embraced happiness.

    Being in Love is everything. Thinking about someone. Wanting and needing someone. Their presence. How their presence allows you to feel. Reciprocity.

    Liking someone is just diggin’ them as a human being. Nothing more, nothing less. Kinda like how laughter makes you feel.



  5. Ms. Nikks
    May 04, 2010 @ 23:17:03

    There’s definitely a difference between love and being in love. There are different types of love. We can love our friends. Be in love with our partners. We can love the one we’re with, but long for the one who got away. Love is a complicated thing, it’s something not easily explained. That’s why it varies from person to person.

    We look at some people and wonder who the hell could love them? We look at some people and wonder why they stay with partners who treat them horribly?! The definition of love can be twisted and varied from person to person.

    “Love is the one game you lose by refusing to play.” -Ally McBeal



  6. JSin
    May 05, 2010 @ 17:50:26

    This is a great post Sunny!

    I’ve pondered this on several occasions. I always seem to end up with this consensus:

    To LOVE is something that one does consciously. You’re completely aware of it…mainly because you make yourself aware of it.

    For example, when you are at an event for work you will ‘consciously’ make an effort to smile and be friendly to your co-workers out of respect, decency and image.

    LOVE is similar. For example, if you LOVE someone you will consciously make sure you do things to show your love. Like answering their calls at anytime of the night/morning, driving far distances to pick them up or visit them, etc.

    It’s something you make a conscious effort to do so that the person knows that you LOVE them.

    Being IN LOVE on the other hand is not a conscious action that a person makes. It isn’t a decision that you all of a sudden make. It’s more instinctive. It’s something you feel but also something that lies dormant inside of you. Mainly because it’s so powerful and meaningful that it doesn’t need to be brought to the surface and displayed for all to see so that they know it’s there.

    When IN LOVE people know it. It has an aura about it. And when it comes to the person that you may be IN LOVE with, you don’t have to constantly show it because it will reveal itself at the right moments.

    For example, if something bad is happening to the person you are IN LOVE with you will act before, or even without, thinking…like a sacrificial survival instinct. At that moment all that matters is that person you are IN LOVE with. You would sacrifice anything for them…even you life. And what is important to note is that this sacrificial decision isn’t a ‘conscious’ one. You just do it! Because you are IN LOVE!



  7. Mr.TramueL
    May 06, 2010 @ 10:03:48

    This is a most excellent post Sunny. Great comments too.



  8. Jay
    May 09, 2010 @ 07:11:53

    It depends, if someone generally is just like “i love you” it can be taken in many ways; like brother to brother, friend to friend, or partner to partner. it can be paraphrased as “i really care about you” But to be ‘in love with you’ is usually an exchange between partners when someone has feelings for you. Either one coming from the right person (someone you love) is great. I think when someone says that they are “in love” with you it has more of a romantic meaning. You know just like me and you, I always tell you I love you. I always think we have some type of bond as good friends and you know I’ll have your back.



  9. Goddess Intellect
    May 10, 2010 @ 21:30:05

    This is a tough one!!
    Umm I dont really see a difference myself. Love starts within and I’m learning that love is a process. Everyday I learn more about me and fall deeper in love daily with myself. I believe loving someone else whether that be family or a lover is the same way. You just go through a process, the ppl we love are a reflection of the love we have for ourselves or the potential love we can have for ourselves.
    Perhaps being in love is like the initial stages…where you get butterflies and blush all the time…but I dunno I really fell like if its genuine the euphoric feeling will never wear off…it may change shape or grow but never fade.



  10. eyekandee05
    Dec 02, 2010 @ 21:45:21

    GREAT post! I was in a relationship with a guy for 3 years and we always told one another “I love you”. He ended up cheating on me, and I told him that he couldn’t possibly love me. He said YES I love you, but I’m not “In Love” with you and if I was I wouldn’t have cheated.. This totally blew my mind. I know that they are 2 entities, but I thought if you said “I love you” to the opposite sex, that it meant the same. I’m sure for most ppl it does when it’s verbally expressed…He was just playing with my intellect! #douchebag



  11. EyeKandee
    Aug 11, 2011 @ 22:43:09

    TD Jakes breaks it down like this in his book The Lady, Her Lover, Her Lord…there are 3 types of love, 1)Agape- The love for Christ 2) Philia- the love for your family 3)Eros- the romantic type as we would say “in love”. It seemed more simple for me once he categorized it LOL

    J’Sun made a great point as well!(as usual:)…I like the fact that I can be “in love” with something/someone other than a spouse. It’s safe to say I am in love with my daughter because most times the things I do for her are indeed sacrificial!

    Great Post!



  12. EyeKandee
    Aug 11, 2011 @ 22:44:51

    ha! I didn’t realize I read this one a while ago and commented! LOL…I must really like this one!!



  13. kdaddy23
    Aug 28, 2011 @ 15:45:43

    Love is love; it can’t be anything but what it is. It’s our minds that slices and dices it up into pieces that we can manage. The only “difference” between loving someone and being “in love” with them is what you do about what you’re feeling – that’s it. Anything else is just your brain nitpicking the whole thing. Can you love more than one person at a time? You sure as hell can… but the rules of the game dictates otherwise. Sure, it’s problematic… but because of the same rules that say you should never do it.

    And, even in this, it’s not that you love someone else… it’s what you do about it that determines whether or not you “love” them or are “in love” with them. You think that love requires action when, in fact, all love requires is acceptance that it is what it is. You think there’s some difference between loving a child and loving that gorgeous hunk lying next to you… and there is no difference except that which you do because of what you feel.

    1 Corinthians 13:4-13 specifically tells you what love is and what it isn’t. However, our morality seeks to change and severely limit what it means, what it can do. You either love someone or you don’t and it’s just easier for us to apply degrees of love than to just accept that it is what it’s always been. Love isn’t finite because, if it were, you would love once and never, ever, love again: Love never ends.

    The thing that complicates the issue is our inability to separate love and sex even though we learn along the way that while they work nicely together, they don’t necessarily have to be together. That’s when monogamy sets in on us and why a lot of us are taught to never have sex with someone that we don’t love or, in other words, don’t do it unless you’re prepared to give your all in this. It’s that thing that dictates that if we love each other, we should be all that we’ll ever need in this and if this were true, um, again, we’d never be able to love anyone else in any way and never have any experiences other than with the first person you fell in love with.

    But we also know the truth, even if we try to deny it: We’re not always all that we’ll ever need with each other, which is when we find out that there’s another to love out there somewhere.

    It’s not what you feel; it’s what you do or don’t do about it and this is the only difference. You don’t have to believe me; all you really have to do is take a big step back from what you think and look at it for what it is and not what you’ve been told it’s supposed to be or even what you might want it to be. Love is only different because we’re told it has to be different and the really messed up part is that a lot of us live our lives thinking that this is the way love’s supposed to be and that it can’t be any other way.

    And that, friends, is a lie; it’s a truth morality wants us to believe so, to that end, we’ve all been living a lie, haven’t we? You may, if you wish to after you read this, want to come with all the “what ifs” that goes along with this and I’ll tell you now that the first thing I’ll come back on you with is for you to tell me what the difference is – but I already know the answer to that… and I’ve already given it to you anyway.

    However, if you choose to keep slicing and dicing it, think of it this way: “I love you” is about what you’re not going to do; “I’m in love with you” is what you are willing to do – think about it.



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