My status right now is single…yet I find myself in a relationship. Why? I’ve been building a relationship with a certain fella friend of mines. We spend lots of time together, that is up until recently (I’ll get back to this). We always talking about what is going on between us, and I know he isn’t ready for a committed relationship. I always say jokingly that we are in fact in a relationship. Why? Because it’s true, if we are spending all this time together and not really going out on dates with other people…that equals a relationship, at least in my book.
I know what type of situation I’ve put myself in and I’m fine with that. I know what I want and I would very much like to be sure that I can mentally handle being in a committed relationship…I told you guys I have major trust issues. This relationship also works because he’s on the same path I’m on with not having sex. I enjoy his company and everything.
This relationship has taught me a few things, good and bad. But one thing that has never changed about me is I like consistency when it comes to the person I’m dating. The last 2 and half weeks have lacked consistency for various reasons. Now I try to be understanding because every relationship isn’t perfect. But what if it gets to be too much? Relationships got thru phases: Hot, Warm & Cold. That is in my own personal opinion. Right now I would say this relationship is going thru a warm phase. What once was happening has stopped or became sporadic.
I find myself waiting for him and he doesn’t show up. When I need or want him there he isn’t. There is always a reason, some don’t make sense to me…but in the same step I can’t really get mad..because I’m single and I choose to walk into this situation. I look at myself and I’m turning into someone else, and I’m not that girl. I refuse to be. I’m being pushed away,I mean thats what I feel. Am I wrong for thinking that? I mean I could see if I was putting pressure on that certain someone. But if that’s not it, then what?
But, I know what I need to do…
Comment, thoughts, explanations…etc welcomed