Many people cannot stand the sight of their exes. Of course, there are many people who have positive views of their exes. For those who make the choice to reunite with their exes, it can be a beautiful thing. One thing that can make the reunion difficult is when one individual or both individuals don’t use clear communication. I am convinced that the root cause of all relationship failures is communication problems, even when cheating, financial problems and incompatibility (which are the most cited reasons for the termination of relationships) are used as the reasons for severing the relationships.
Unclear communication can be the tragic demise of couples who are reuniting. Couples reuniting must understand their relationship already has barriers associated with their previous relationship together, so there has to be a willingness to have open and frank communication. When one or both parties hold back on what he or she really wants to say, this can lead to mixed messages. One of the mixed messages that can be communicated unintentionally is there is not a serious interest in reuniting. You have to be wise enough to know that there’s going to be some doubts about the relationship in your partner’s mind, so you need to make every attempt possible to reassure your partner that those doubts are unnecessary.
Be careful about what you articulate or fail to articulate through text messaging. If you say, “I love you. Lol!,” your partner could interpret this as you’re not really genuine about your love for him or her. Even if you’re nervous about candidly divulging your feelings for your partner, then let him or her know this. Your partner will respect your honesty and will have a better understanding about how what you say and don’t say can be a matter of you still being shy about expressing your feelings. Don’t wait too long to overcome your inhibitions about boldly avowing your feelings for your partner, however.
Always let your partner know where you stand. Never be afraid to tell your partner what you want from him or her and your rekindled relationship. This allows for the relationship to benefit from solemn discourse and negotiations. Hopefully, two clear thinking individuals who have shared a past relationship with one another will be able to reach compromise on things they disagree about and on how they should proceed in the relationship.
Establish a plan for how your relationship should proceed, even if it’s just “we’re going to start slow and take it from there” type of a plan. At least with this type of plan both individuals know they should not attempt to do things and say things that would be perceived as “going too fast.” If it’s possible, however, it would be best for a couple reuniting to create a more thorough plan for accomplishing goals, how to proceed in the relationship, how to deal with challenges that will arise in the relationship, and how to overcome the challenges and problems that caused the previous relationship to end.
Be clear with your partner so that he or she will not feel like things are so unclear in your relationship.
Antonio Maurice Daniels
University of Wisconsin-Madison
**Thanks Antonio for gracing my blog with your words… always a pleasure to read!!**