Maya’s Two Worlds: Chap. 2

Maya stood there in shock, a part of her wanted to push Trina away; the other wanted her to be invisible. Suddenly, the night club incident flashed into her head.

Jas, Brandy and Maya were ready to party, after their long work week they wanted to enjoy a ladies night out on the town. It was dollar drink night at their favorite spot and the DJ was hot. “I’ll go grab us some drinks,” Maya said. She went to her favorite bartender B and he made their usual, Rum and Coke. As she went to pay for the drinks, a hand pushed hers away and with a sweet voice said, “I got this.” Maya couldn’t see who it was through the thickness of the crowd. After a brief look around, she headed back to her girls. “What took you so long and why are you making that face?” asked Brandy. “What face? I’m just looking for someone.” But she had no idea who she was looking for, she didn’t like that.

As the night went on, the ladies were feeling buzzed. Maya knew she had to stop drinking because she was the driver. So as the drinks came in, she gave hers to her girls. The DJ begins to play ‘Love in the Club’ and Maya heard a whisper in her ear, “come to the wall.” She immediately looked around but the club was so crowded that she simply decided to do as the voice said. When she got to the wall, she saw a woman standing 5’4 with a short cut and curves for days. Maya got excited, but tried to remain calm as this woman was approaching her. “Hi, my name is Trina and I’m off you hard. Can I show you something?” Before Maya could say a word, Trina’s booty was all on her, she was grinding her body to the song and Maya’s body followed. Maya didn’t care about anything at this time except to what was going on with her inner workings. The smell of Trina’s body intoxicated her, she was riding this wave. Trina turned around and started kissing her, and she didn’t object. As the song was coming to an end and the club lights came on, Maya realized that the club wasn’t packed anymore. She froze trying to gather her thoughts and figure out where her friends were. In that moment she saw them not too far from her, she wondered if they saw her?

“Maya! Maya! Maya!” Maya snapped out of her flashback and tried to gather her thoughts and quickly replied, “Yes, what’s up?” Tonya snapped her fingers and Maya’s eyes focused and Trina was no where to be seen. Tonya explained that Trina had to get back to work so she ran off. Maya didn’t realize that Trina worked in the mall she didn’t even see the name tag on her shirt. She stood there looking confused and then Jas walked up. “Who was that chick?” Jas asked. “Just a friend, haven’t seen her in a while so I was excited to see her.” replied Maya. “She looks familiar… I don’t know. Anyway, what are you doing today? I have this thing I may go to, but I want you to come.” Jas asked. Maya got a bit nervous but said, “I’ll get back to you, okay?” Jas nodded and waved good-bye.

Tonya couldn’t believe what just happened. “Sis, when are you gonna tell them? That was too close; thank God Trina had to get back to work.” Maya nodded her head in agreement, “I think that’s enough drama for today, let’s go home.” Tonya agreed and the two headed for the exit. The whole ride Maya was in her head trying to figure out a way to see Trina again. What she felt when they were around each other was undeniable, something about Trina was attractive and it was more than her appearance.

Maya texted Jas and told her that she wanted to lay low tonight, a quick way to avoid her friend until she had the courage to tell her truth. Maya thought tomorrow would be a fresh start and she was determined to tell her secret before she ran into Trina again.

6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. pangirlbrit
    Aug 18, 2012 @ 16:58:09

    I like this piece so far, but I think you should add more to it. I feel like it needs more of a setting or storyline. but so far so good.



  2. Antonio Maurice Daniels
    Aug 20, 2012 @ 18:40:41

    I’m enjoying your story thus far. The above commenter brings up some useful points. Establish the setting more and make it clear for the reader what’s going on at every stage of the narrative. However, great job thus far and I look forward to reading more of this narrative.



    • sunnydelyte21
      Aug 21, 2012 @ 10:04:34

      How can I make it more clear? Help thanks for you input!!



      • Antonio Maurice Daniels
        Aug 21, 2012 @ 23:17:39

        Add more third person narrative that gives the reader more details about what’s going on as you move from sentence to sentence with your character(s). Have a narrator who is concerned with giving the reader the details he or she wants to know. Let the narrator tell the story while we witness the action and conflict of the story through your plot and characterization. With the setting, be more vivid by making us feel like we are there. If it’s cold, make us feel how cold it is. If it’s a beautiful day, capture the beauty of the day. I hope this helps.



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